If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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