I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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