he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
