...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
