So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
