So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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