Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
