I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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