THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
