Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
