Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You took a bar mat shot.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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