We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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