Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize