Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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