we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
