Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
third nipple confirmed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
