You're completely useless in the revolution.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Randomize
