don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
