never play flip cup with pint glasses
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
