the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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