I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
