I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
