I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
