We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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