im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
