if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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