wanna go halves on a baby?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Damn victory sex feels great
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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