nut hugger
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
