when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
