my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
