Soap is not a condiment
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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