i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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