I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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