I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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