Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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