At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
