you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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