He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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