Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
