He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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