Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
