i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
