...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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