FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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