You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
