also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
