when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
