Having a random hookup so left but love u
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
