Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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