it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
