At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
