It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
