God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
