Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
