I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
