OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
