the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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